Think about what you want. Be selfish. Go with your gut reaction.
And remember that you are saying this in your head; don’t make it sound good for other people. And be specific! Don’t just say that you want to lose weight. Why? Because that on its own doesn’t mean anything. Now if you want to lose weight to feel good in clothes so you feel confident to pick up the hot barista at your favorite coffee spot, then that’s the stuff.
Are you there yet? You should be. I know, I know, we hate picking. We have too many choices. But don’t over-analyze this. GO!
Got it? Good.
Now that you have it, there are 3 things to think about when we are working on getting out of our own way in order to get what we really want. Let’s dive in.
To start, you need to know that getting what you want is SIMPLE but it isn’t EASY. You might disagree. If it was simple, then you would surely have what you want. But think about it… We have all the information, context, and tools we need to get what we want and yet so many of us still don’t have what we want. Want to start a business? There are hundreds of blogs and podcasts of successful business owners giving step-by-step guides to starting a business. Yet, you still haven’t started yours. Why is that?
It starts with a 4 letter word. Some call it the “F Word”.
Not like, “Fine, I’ll tell you”. The word “fine” is the one I’m talking about. I know you probably didn’t think I was going there. But take a moment and think about how many times a day you tell someone that you are fine. How many times have you told yourself that you are fine not having what you truly want? Fine is a cheap word. It doesn’t sound particularly smart and it surely doesn’t express how you truly feel. It’s feeble. It’s flimsy. It falls short.
The second part in getting out of your own way and getting what you want? Stop saying you’re fine. Tell the truth about how you are. Don’t worry about if that offends someone or if you are burdening them by telling them how you really are. Because the more we say it to other people, the more we convince ourselves that we are “fine” not having what we want.
And guess what? You aren’t just fine and you never have been. The odds of YOU being born at the time you were and to the parents you were born to is 1 in 400 trillion. Those odds aren’t “fine”, those odds are extraordinary. And be extension, so are you.
The third part to getting what you want? Stop hitting snooze on your ideas like you hit snooze on your alarm.
In any place you want to change, you are never going to “FEEL” like it. You will never feel like getting out of your warm bed and into a cold room but avoiding snooze and getting up with your alarm makes you face the physical force required to change your behavior.
Circling back, this idea is a simple one, but it doesn’t mean that it’s an easy one. Partly because there are things that nobody tells you when you’re growing up. Like the fact that when you become an adult, you are forced to parent yourself. You now have to make yourself do all the stuff you don’t want to in order to be the person you want to be. You have to make yourself get up with your alarm and get ready for work. Even when you don’t feel like it. Because you know that if you keep waiting to feel like it, you will wait forever.
That’s due in part to the fact that your brain arguably only has two modes: Auto-pilot and emergency brake. Your brain loves auto-pilot. It likes hitting snooze and doing the easy thing. Whenever you do anything outside of the norm, your brain tries to put the brake on. It wants to question and analyze this new action. That’s when you find yourself not speaking up, acting on an idea, hitting snooze, or saying that you’re fine.
Now that you’ve chewed this over and digested it, now that you’ve established what you want, how do you feel?
If you feel stuck or dissatisfied, it is a sign that one of your most basic needs is not being met. And it’s probably not being met because you keep pulling the emergency brake. Science even shows that if you pull that brake and don’t marry an idea with an action within 5 seconds, you kill the idea entirely.
Everything grows for your entire life; your hair, your nails, your cells regenerate. That means you, as a person, should grow as well. And in order to grow, you have to start forcing yourself to be uncomfortable.
You are 1 in 400 trillion. You are special. You matter. Go after what you want, whatever it is. Stop standing in your own way.
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